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I miss you.

Today I was talking to my friend Mike and he showed me the beginnings of a book he started writing his freshman year of high school. And just like that I thought of Lauren, and the book that she and Sam were writing our freshman year of high school, and how they were so secretive about it but they would show me passages and excerpts of chapters with names crossed out, debating about names and eye color, picking at wording, asking me for advice, and how good they were. They were already planning on a movie that was going to be based off the book!
And thinking about Lauren made me realize that I didn't visit her grave once this summer, the whole three months that I was home. Not once. And I don't know why.. well I do know, but it's stupid. I didn't want to be sad. I didn't want to be serious. I didn't want to go by myself. But I know that visiting her doesn't mean I have to be sad or deep or serious or whatever, I can just go visit her. I could just stop by to say hey, I miss you, life is good. Leave a flower on her grave and enjoy the summer day, carrying a happy memory of Lauren with me. And then I realized that I left my locket at home. I know exactly where it is. I can picture it in the little box on the new bookshelves I put up this summer. I wish I could just pick it up and put it on. But I can't visit her right now; she's five hours away and I have class at 9:20 tomorrow morning. But for now this will have to be enough. For now I just want to let you know, Lauren,
I miss you.

~ Christie

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